How Gin Stole Christmas
by DoYouFindMeDreadful
Summary: It's Christmas agian, and Gin is not happy. But he's determined to do something about it this year and with Kira by his side the entire time, he can't fail ... right? [light Gin X Kira, Kisuke X Yoruichi, hinted Yoruichi X Soi Fon]
1. Prologue

Gin frowned deeply as the sound of singing reached his ears through the mountainous range of which he lived. The happy and optimistic words that were sung made his grin fade slightly and he couldn't help but snarl to himself. He _hated_ Christmas.

"Those fools," he muttered, his smug smirk slipping back into place. "they really have no idea how stupid this whole thing is do they?"

By his side stood Kira who, unsure if he was being asked the question or not, decided that it was probably best to just answer. "No, I don't think they do ..."

For a moment, all the silver haired man did was nod, the gears in his brain obviously twisting and turning in every imaginable way possible. He just stared down from the edge of the cliff they stood upon, eying where he knew the village was though he could not see it. All those silly little shinigami Who's. So ignorant.

So unsuspecting.

So terribly naive and ripe for the taking. All he needed was a plan and the means to pull it off with. But what? It had to be big, it couldn't be something as small and trivial as prank calling every person with a phone in the village – as had been his plan of attack the year before. Sure, he'd annoyed the shit out of everyone but it hadn't really left much of a reason for them to stop celebrating Christmas.

Terrorism was always a possibility, but he couldn't very well create something worth while, nor could he go on a suicide mission because then he just couldn't enjoy his victory, now could he? And Kira was certainly out of the question because ... well, he'd be loosing his bed partner, and seeing as how the blond was the only company he'd ever had it was just not an option.

Finally, as his thoughts were becoming desperate for a plan seeing as how Christmas day was less then 24 hours away, something hit him. An idea. And oh, what a brilliant plan it was. So brilliant it made him feel all warm and fuzzy inside and terribly proud of himself. Gin could hardly keep control of the laughter rising up in his throat and instead opted for smirking like a mad man.

Seeing that look on his face, Kira couldn't help but feel slightly nervous. Gin normally looked evil as it was, always smirking and sneering, but at the moment he was looking downright diabolical. He took an involuntary step back just before the slightly taller man turned to him.

"I know what we are going to do,"

"O-oh?"

(XxXxX)

"This singing is stupid," Ichigo muttered under his breath, though Rukia heard him and promptly smacked him upside the head.

"Don't be that way, Ichigo. It's Christmas. Be happy. You don't want to be like Ichimaru up in the mountains now do you?" The carrot top cursed a few times before mumbling a 'no' and shuffling off, probably to get his little sister to make him a batch of cookies. Rukia shook her head gently and looked off into the snowy horizon, just admiring the slowly falling snowflakes. It was barely snowing, but it was just enough to make it gather in her hair. It was beautiful.

The entire village was decorated with holiday cheer and some of the villagers had taken things a little too far – as usual - both with their decorating _and_ their costumes. Take Kyoraku for example. Being as flamboyant as he was, it wasn't much of a surprise when he made a red shawl with a white fur trim that very much resembled the one he normally wore. The 'snowflakes' towards the bottom even looked suspiciously like petals.

But, never one to be outdone, Yumichika had quickly put together a Christmas wardrobe of his own, his managing to come out somehow less flamboyant then it was gay – and not the happy kind. To say he looked like a young, yet to gray Santa Clause was one hell of an understatement. The man was even wearing suspenders under the red jacket for crying out loud!

But in the end, it didn't matter how carried away the residents of Whoville got, or how outrageous some of the houses looked with too many lights, reefs and plastic figures littered all over. All that mattered was that everyone got to spend the holiday with their loved ones and Rukia knew this very well.

"Man! When is it gonna' be Christmas!? I wanna' open my presents already!"

"That's not a nice thing to say, Jinta ..."

"Hey, whose gonna' pour me my first cup of Christmas sake tomorrow?"

Though, she _did_ sometimes wonder if everyone else knew it as well.

(XxXxX)

Gin was pacing back and forth, gesticulating like a mute on crack, his grin somehow managing to look wider and more maniacal with each word he spoke. To be honest, the plan he described was rather ingenuous, a good idea on his part, but there was only one thing Kira saw a problem with.

"Alright!" he said excitedly upon reaching the end of his explanation. "Let's take some measurements and get to work! There's not a whole lot of time left and -"

"Um, sir?" Gin paused, giving the blond an expectant look, prompting him to continue. "... neither of us knows how to sew ..."

An awkward silence filled the room, Kira becoming more and more uneasy with each passing second. He was just beginning to think he shouldn't have pointed out that little detail when Gin broke the tension filled moment of quiet.

"How hard can it be?" He made a small 'psh' sound and turned on his heel, marching into the room he shared with Kira, who trailed after him, albeit with slight hesitation. He watched as Gin got down on to the floor and began to rummage underneath their bed, eventually pulling a rather large box from the darkness. Gin wiped his hands of dust as Kira ventured closer to take a peek, then, in a flourish, he removed the lid, revealing what looked to be a never before used sewing machine.

Kira blinked, surprise evident on his face. "Why do you have a sewing machine? Under our bed of all places?"

Gin gave a small shrug as he removed it from the box. "Someone gave it to me for my birthday one year and I never got around to throwing it away." Once he had it sitting on the floor beside him like how the picture on the little pamphlet showed, he beamed in pride. "There. All we have to do is follow the directions in here and we should be all good. We'll have a Santa costume in no time and then ..." He trailed off as a truly blissful look crossed his face only to be replaced by an insane grin.

The blond man couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for the Who's. This was obviously going to be the worst holiday disaster anyone had ever seen but Kira was determined to stick by Gin's side until the very end. Even if it meant the Who's coming after them with pitchforks and stakes.

Oh, this was going to be a terribly long Christmas.

(XxXxX)

... yep. I was originally just going to make this a one shot but it's almost four in the morning right now and I can't type anymore. The screen is blurry and my brain is hardly working, so I have to stop or this will just end up as the stupidest thing in the world. I'm not really sure where my inspiration for this came but I hope you like it. And I do realize it's nowhere near Christmas, it's not even cold yet, but I'm sure it's winter somewhere in the world so whatever. Yes, Kira and Gin are together like _that_ and just for the record this is my first time writing for either of them so I'm sorry if I've made any mistakes in character thus far. Just tell me, and I will correct immediately. Also, I tried my damnedest think of something better then Whoville, but nothing came, so if anyone has a good idea, please tell me.

Oh, I do not own Bleach or The Grinch, but I would like to say I own Gin's sewing machine. Please review or else I may not write the second part to this and you wont get to see what happens at the end. Will Gin change his ways as the Grinch did in the movie, or will he just continue to hate Christmas forever? Or will something completely unexpected happen? To be perfectly honest, I don't know just yet, but hopefully we'll find out together.


	2. I love a man in uniform

Kira had been pleasantly surprised to learn that he seemed to have a natural talent for the whole sewing thing. In fact, it came so easy to the blond that Gin had been somewhat at a loss for words. He hadn't been faring anywhere near as well (if his bleeding finger was any proof of that) so when Kira had asked if he was doing alright he'd automatically replied positively. No need to show any weakness and all that jazz, right? The smaller man had went on his way, continuing with what he'd been doing and not even a minute later a blood curdling scream arose only to die out into a low whimper.

Finding Gin hunched over the sewing machine, the skin of his index finger decorated with red thread and literally stitched to the fabric he'd been working on had been more then enough incentive for Kira to take over the whole project. After cutting the thread from the rest of the spool and removing it from the silver haired man's finger, he officially demoted Gin to taking care of anything that needed to be done that didn't involve a needle. The no longer sneering man gratefully obliged and scuttled off somewhere to organize his plans.

With a small sigh, Kira took over sewing the jacket together. He was just praying that it turned out right in the end. It would be a shame if his lovers plan went to waste just because of some technical difficulty.

(XxXxX)

If there was one thing Yoruichi disliked about this time of the year, she'd definitely have to say it was the Christmas Eve party. Not only was it _the_ most over the top, essentially loud and rather annoying tradition their village had, it was also the only time that her partner allowed himself to become drunk.

Now, normally Kisuke didn't drink all that much, but at the Christmas Eve party – well, you'd better watch out, and that was her only warning.

The blond man had already groped Orihime (a rather large offense considering she was underage), fallen face first into Rangiku's assets (though she hadn't had a problem with it as she was already drunk off her ass as well) and managed to grab Ichigo and pull him into a kiss before the orange haired boy could react (another offense to a minor) and yet he was still taking shots like a college freshman during his first summer break. She could hardly stand the thought of dealing with him the next morning. _Or_ explaining to Jinta and Ururu that it was not ok to behave like that. What a role model ...

"Hey, pour me another shot, bar keep!" Kisuke laughed, holding out his glass to Isshin who gave him a funny look in reply.

"Your glass is full, Urahara. Drink that first and I'll be happy to pour you more!" Suddenly grinning, he grabbed a glass and filled it with scotch, brandishing it in the air like it was the Holy Grail itself. "In fact, why don't we do it together!"

"Alright!"

Yoruichi couldn't help but groan as she watched the both of them down their alcohol. He wasn't going to want to leave for quite a while so she was stuck there. And stuck there with what!? All these gossip crazy females!? Oh, she was _so_ not capable of dealing with this.

"Did you notice that Abarai-san got another tattoo?" Isane asked, a small frown adorning her features.

Retsu nodded gently. "I did. I wonder when he'll decide he's had enough."

"When every inch of his body is covered in that tribal work." Soi Fon said flatly, her eyes never once leaving Yoruichi whom she was sitting so close to she was practically on the womans lap.

Alright, so Yoruichi wasn't _just_ stuck with a bunch of gossiping girls, but also an old flame. Damn. Could this night get any worse?

(XxXxX)

Gin surveyed himself in the long mirror, eying in particular how tight fitting the Santa costume actually was. Oh well, he supposed it was better then it being all loose and baggy, hanging off his frame like a tent, but still. The groin area was kind of uncomfortable. And tight. But despite that, he had to admit it was rather well made. He'd have to remember to give Kira a special 'thank you' later on after his plan was successfully carried out. Though there was still a small nagging that all that red didn't look all too great with his skin and hair tone. It looked ... awkward.

It didn't matter though. He was only going to wear this once and then he could burn it and never think about it again. If everything went as planned, he wouldn't have a care in the world after this night so -

Click.

A small flash drew his attention to his left and he could only stare at Kira who was holding a camera up to his face, smiling like he was having the time of his life. For a second, Gin was speechless and the blond took that opportunity to step forward, bubbling with pride at his creation and it's final look.

"Here, put the hat on. It'll really throw it all together." He said excitedly as he slipped the red hat over silver hair, adjusting it slightly before stepping back and snapping another picture. "See? You look great, Gin. Really! Look at yourself."

Being only slightly disturbed by his partners sudden ... energy, Gin turned back to the mirror, unable to keep the sneer off his face. The hat really _did_ pull off the outfit. Go figure. "I look like Santy Clause himself," he proclaimed, more to himself then the other person in the room. "and by the time this night is through I'll have my revenge on all those fools in that damned village and they wont even know it's me. If I get spotted, they'll just think it's their dear St. Nick, abandoning them forever ... oh, how sad." he simpered to his reflection, grinning madly.

Kira blinked, pulling the camera from his face. "But what about me? Is there anything that I can do to help."

Turning on his heel, Gin advanced upon his young blond friend, a menacing feel in the way he took each step. "Well, as we all know, Santa needs his reindeer now doesn't he ...?"

Kira suddenly wasn't feel so behind the whole plan anymore.

(XxXxX)

Wow, this has to be the quickest update I think I've ever done. I mean, yeah, I don't write many chapter stories, most of mine are just kinky one pieces, but for some reason I feel really driven to complete this. I thank the two reviewers for the first chapter for their opinions. I thought Gin as the Grinch was pretty funny myself, so I just couldn't help but write this. His facial expressions are just so Grinch like and I think he'd make the perfect villain for a Christmas movie. He just has that air about him, you know? And I honestly don't know what's going to happen at the end, if Gin will change his ways or not, it's up to him really. Please review everyone!

Oh, and I have such a hard time deciding between Yoruichi X Kisuke or Yoruichi X Soi Fon that I just decided to throw both of them in there. I'm not really sure what other pairings might arise but if and when they do, I hope you enjoy them.


	3. Go a little faster, Kira!

It wasn't really _that_ hard to realize Gin was a bit on the eccentric side, but standing in ankle high snow dressed in only a flimsy red tank top and a red skirt, Kira really began to wonder just how insane his lover really was. The sun had completely set by now so it was very cold and Kira was feeling it badly. The black boots he'd been given weren't enough to keep even his feet warm. His entire body shook and rattled and Gin? He was only a little chilly in his clothes. Dammit, Kira wanted a new plan.

Or at the very least a season appropriate outfit.

"Gi-Gin? Um, duh-do you maybe thi-thi-think I can put some pants on?"

The silver haired man glanced at him as he loaded sacks onto the sleigh he'd found, somehow crammed into the very back of their closet. "What do you mean? You look adorable Kira-chan!"

The blond could feel a headache coming on from how hard his teeth were clattering together. He also had the sense that frostbite was in his very near future. "Buh-be that as it muh-may, Gin, it's very cold out he-here."

"Oh, don't be silly. It's just a little nippy is all. Once we start moving, you'll be fine!" Kira watched as he loaded the last of the sacks onto the sleigh, wondering if Gin really didn't understand how cold he was or if he just didn't care. Either way, the shorter boy was beginning to feel a bit put off by the whole thing. "Alright! We're ready to go!" Gin announced happily, giving his gloved hands one quick clap before spinning on his heel and stepping over to his partner in crime.

Kira couldn't help but feel slightly warmed when Gin put a hand on his cheek, gently caressing him. Looking into Gin's face, Kira knew that in the end this was all going to be worth it. Even if he did get frostbite.

"Now, I just want you to know that in the end, no matter what happens I'm proud of you." The younger male was slightly taken aback by his words but was comforted by them all the same. However, when Gin's mouth split into a wicked grin, all those feelings of comfort were completely flushed down the toilet. "But, if we succeed, there will be some of _this_ for you tomorrow night," Kira jumped when the other man suddenly grabbed his package through the skirt, bringing forth a shudder and eliciting a moan from him.

Gin chuckled as he massaged Kira's manhood, promising all of that and more later on. Of course, deep down inside he was just using the entire thing as a way to give the blond some motivation but when his plan is successfully carried out, he knows he'll be in the mood to bang Kira into next week, so it wasn't necessarily a lie or anything. Just a bit of incentive.

"Good boy," He murmured, obviously pleased at the reaction he'd gotten. "Now, straighten your antlers a bit and come on!" Very nearly bouncing with excitement, Gin made his way to the sleigh and hopped on.

With a small sigh, Kira begrudgingly fidgeted with the sticks Gin had tied into his hair with red ribbons, to please him if nothing else, then marched to his inevitable fate. Getting down the mountain was hard enough but pulling a sleigh with a grown man on it was going to be hell. Kira could only hope he didn't get killed at any point in this endeavor.

(XxXxX)

Shuhei groaned slightly as he watched the room spin round and around and around and – he gagged as he felt himself throw up in the back of his throat. Damn. He swore from this point on that he was never drinking so much, ever again. He didn't normally drink as it was, Ikkaku and Renji had talked him into it this particular night, so it would be more fitting to say; he swore he'd never fall prey to peer pressure ever again.

However, looking at Iba passed out cold on the floor, Renji stripping to music only he seemed to be able to hear, Ikkaku trying to juggle three eggs he'd snatched from the fridge and Kenpachi laughing at their antics, he'd have to say that this night wasn't a complete disaster. At the very least it was amusing and he'd certainly be taking home memories.

This was only further proven when Renji climbed onto Shuhei's lap, naked except for his boxers and proceeded to grind into the other tattooed man. Moaning, Shuhei let his hands find the red heads ass, squeezing gently even as he felt a wave of nausea hit him again. If Renji wanted it, he was up for sex, but he only hoped that he didn't end up vomiting all over the place while they were going at it. That would be a horrific moment for them both. You know, aside from the friend fucking friend thing.

And the fact they were both guys.

(XxXxX)

Panting as they neared the first house in Whoville, Kira thanked every entity to ever exist that he'd made it alive. After nearly running headlong into five different trees, almost breaking his legs from rocks and various holes in the ground, narrowly avoiding running right off a cliff and being run over about three times by the sleigh he'd been pulling down hill the entire way, Kira had to say it was a miracle he was still conscious, let alone breathing. Aside from all the bruises and sprains, he was freezing! He couldn't feel his legs, arms, face or his _ass_. As far as he was concerned, screw waiting outside like a normal reindeer, he was going in with Gin even if he had to climb down the chimney!

"Oi, Kira-chan,"

Turning sky blue eyes to the man still seated on the sleigh, Kira gave a weak smile. "Yuh-yes?"

"Do you want help climbing up onto the roof?" asked Gin, his tone somehow coming out more amused then curious.

The blond felt his face fall. "What?"

"Well, you see, I need you to climb up there, shimmy down the chimney and unlock the door for me." Gin explained, all smiles.

"Wha-_why_??"

"Because, I can't ruin my costume so early in the game now can I?"

All Kira could do was stare at him, mouth moving but without any sound coming out. He just couldn't believe what he was hearing. Gin was the one suppose to be going down the chimney's not him!

"Pwetty pweese?" The silver haired man pouted at him, using his best baby voice, knowing very well and good that Kira wouldn't be able to deny it.

And just like he'd anticipated, Kira sighed in defeat, muttered a 'no, I can manage myself." and promptly began to scale the first house. Gin couldn't help but snicker slightly. As much as he loved the little blond (whose ass he was getting a rather good view of in that skirt) he just hadn't wanted to use all of his energy climbing up the side of the house. That wouldn't have been any fun. So he was using him a little bit, so what? It's not like he'd be complaining later when they were taking a bath together, eventually having sex in the tub and he was screaming in ecstasy, so what did it matter?

Glancing at the mail box, Gin chuckled to himself, absolutely loving his brilliance in that moment. Revenge was going to be sweet and there was no better way of doing it.

First stop: the Kuchiki house.

(XxXxX)

Sorry for the belated update, my birthday was this past Tuesday and I've been doing shit. I realized today that this is turning out to be more focused on Kira then Gin but that's alright I suppose. The next chapter will have Gin galore, pulling pranks and stealing all of our favorite characters things. Yay! I also realized that as this progresses, each chapter becomes more and more sexual, so I might end up having to change the rating to 'M', but that's also ok because most of my stories are 'M' anyway, so it's not like another one would make much of a difference. Also, this coming Tuesday is dear Shuhei's birthday and I want to write something special for him. If any of you have any ideas, please tell me!


End file.
